NAYSAYERS!!! My own girlfriend?!

NAYSAYERS!!! My own girlfriend?!

Hey DG family, feeling a slight bit down today, could use some inspirational words. I was reading deans post about being lucky or being a fool, and he was talking about the naysayers there, and he said something that rang a bell in my mind about people not being cofortable with you hat step themselves. It made me think about my girlfriend. See, my girlfriend SAYS she has my back, and I have her support for my upcoming projects, but I do not necessarily FEEL it. A lot of times if she overhears me telling peope about my new endevours she will make this "your kidding me" type of face, and even yesterday at our restaraunt she was waiting on a couple who were looking at a property to buy and fix(she is a realtor and he is a doctor and they flip on the side) and she didn't even mention to them that her own boyfriend is interested and maybe would have liked to speak to them for some advice!!! I just feel its the unspoken actions that are hitting my radar. Not saying that I will let them hold me back, but having her 100% behind me through words and actions would make me that much better off, instead of this gut feeling that she almost doesnt want to see me succeed, or thinks that I am just full of it or talking up a storm and will not follow through with anything. I know once I start completing deals her attitude will change, but I want her on my side NOW, the way I would be for her. I feel like if it continues, once I am rolling and on my way to the goodlife, I wont want her along for the ride because I didnt have the support from the beginning. Any thoughts??

Charlotte NC

PS...let me add that my girlfriend has seen me try some things. I opened a car detail business, and I hated it, and stopped. I tried getting my auction license so I could get into buying cars at auction and sell them for a profit, but it was wayy to much work for what I was trying to do and I stopped. She has seen me fail at things but not fully succeed(YET!)..I still feel I need her by my side at all times which is where I feel my angst is coming from.


Not telling you to dump her

Not telling you to dump her but,.....

Seriously, ignore her. If she left you, you'd still be doing your RE correct??? She's not actually helping you so don't put too much energy into her or anyone that doesn't see through your eyes. Life is too short to dwell on petty stuff.

The amount of time it took you to type your thoughts could have gone towards a deal. Think of it like that. As you become more successful and focused your circle will dwindle and you'll come across people like yourself who want better for themselves.

Keep one eye open.

Get her to listen to one or

Get her to listen to one or more of Dean's video blogs. Get her to read some here at this site. Get her involved.
You might tell her you need her advice. Tell her you want to give this your all and make it happen not giving up or quiting for anything, but you would like her to really look into it and then give you her opinion on it. When she agrees and does really look into it then she will most probably then be a new DG student and your REI partner. Remember don't push her but encourage her and be prepared for her to drag her feet at first.
You quit for one or reason on those others things and did not succeed. You will get the same results here if you quit for any reason. You have to decide that you will succeed no matter what. That you will no and can not quit for any reason. If you make that decision then you will succeed. No one can stop you or hold you back except for you. It's your choice.


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You can lead a horse to water but you can't force him to accept money.

-One Step Closer

His girl is obviously not

His girl is obviously not interested. Why waste his energy trying to make her get involved in something she doesn't want to??? My wife doesn't watch NBA; I wouldn't waste my time asking her to come with me to a Knicks game.

Plus, I don't thik he quit on his other projects; they just didn't work out for him. She probably thinks the same will happen w RE. I say let him have this to himself and let her do what makes her happy.

No reason why they can't still be together, but if it gets to the point where she starts doubting him or expecting him to fail or he's wasting his time, then it might be time for him to implement Plan B.

I got ya back Jay.

I say

I say don't dump her. She is in a stae of mind like alot of people who don't believe in the what seems to be impossible. So thats not unusual. She doesn't herself taking that step. Think about it, from the time you told her what you want to do, she pictured herself not doing it and said how the heck are you gonna pull that off in her mind. So realize her mind is conditioned to not taking risk or trying new things that require work. If its not easy like most people think, its impossible. All a mind set. So like the guy above said just encourage her, dont push it on her. She doubts right now so prove by doing, and dont try so hard to get her to be 100% behind you. She doubts just say suttle things like You'll see with a smile and walk away, or when the checks start coming in you will beleive ya man is serious business, say this in a serious confident way.Just take your action because at the end of the day you have to deal with you and you dont want to allow yourself to become immobile because of her doubt and immobility. Plus its better when you prove people wrong, especailly those closest to you. WHen you show her fianally, she will look at you in total different way. I bet if you ask why did you doubt me, she will say it seemed impossible and remember her lack of knowledge about the business is guiding her. So remember her ignorance to what you know, explains her opinions and her like are you kidding attitude. So its nothin, Just make sure you keep taking action my man. She will come around. The ckecks will change it all. She will want to know how you did it and still won't believe that for a while because its hard to believe deals and money can be made like this by those less educated and even with those with the education...


I got my mind made up..... (buyers site)

Juss, I'm not saying he


I'm not saying he should be like

"Oh you don't think i'll succeed??? It's over i'm out the front door"

What i'm saying is that things like this, in terms of doing things that will advance your life are serious and hectic. And when you have someone you care about that doesn't believe in you, that does not make things easier.

At the least respect what i'm doing for US, even if you don't agree. But don't put me down or belittle my accomplishments or attempts. That's when its time to think about yourself

I'm just sayin


Maybe your girl just don't have the REI business mindset yet. You are not alone. My wife would sometimes change the topic everytime I open up something about REI. It's very frustrating. But the way we see it sometimes depends on how we judge it. We do not know what's in there minds. Try to gain her trust again by being independent. "It takes two to tango" as they say. Try to close 1 deal and see how she's doing. We are always hungry for our wife's/girlfriends support everytime we start on something. That's how nature works for men.

I failed several times in business and probably that's one reason I am more motivated and careful to do this business now to regain the trust of my wife. But I know that deep inside her, she supports me in everything. Take it easy, go on with the business and I promise, you'll end up in flying colors.

You take care. LA


Everytime you repeat the words "I CAN DO IT" with conviction, you cancel or override your fear and increase your confidence. By repeating this affirmation over and over, you can eventually build your courage and confidence to the point where you are unafraid. -Brian Tracy-


My wife is the same way and I now don't even tell her about what I am doing. When I make my first deal (hopefully soon) and I have the money in my hand I will let her know that it isn't real and she can't see it until she starts thinking positive about the program. I plan on doing most of my first deals not using any of my own money and when I have enough I will start buying properties for cash flow. If you stay positive and don't let her actions interfere with your goals it will all work out. My wife and I have always been opposites and will always be. I think it helps me be a little more skeptical about everything. I know this program will work you just have to take the first step.

J Doss
Flagstaff AZ


Hey Jay.

Congrats on choosing REI! I believe this will be the most profitable and satisfying endeavor you have pursued (which makes it so easy to stick with. Eye-wink )

Whatever way you choose to handle the relationship situation, don't let your success or failure depend on your girlfriend's approval (or anyone else's for that matter). That puts her in control of YOUR destiny. And she's probably as uncomfortable with that as you are. Only you can decide if you're gonna win or lose. I think you're choosing to be a winner. Smiling

This REI business and the naysayers has made me grow so much as a person. You will be surprised at how much HAVING to push forward will make you stronger.

Wishing you all the success you deserve! Smiling



"Obstacles can slow you down, but they can only stop you with your permission." Dean Graziosi (BARM pg 101)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

For a little about me, welcome to the site, and a few tips for new DG family members, click on this link:

Dont listen to her ingnore

Dont listen to her ingnore it..Take action and prove it to her that you will do it

WOW thanks!!

Thanks to all of you that have responded already. I appreciate all the kind words, and im not saying I am trying to get rid of her tomorrow, I just wanted a litte reassurance to be able to block any negative thoughts out of my mind and stay clear and positive. I WILL succeed here, thats not the issue. Its just making sure shes there with me all the way, or not at all.

Give her a chance. When she

Give her a chance. When she sees that you are serious and are really applying yourself she will come around. I am sure she would love to have your back 100%, but it sounds like you have given her several reasons not to be so sure about your new endeavor. She just needs a little assurance.

You are getting your encouragement from your DG family. Share some of that encouragement with her and tell her how it makes you feel when she does not support you the way you think she should. She may not be aware of how you feel about it.

At least you got it off your chest and shared it with us so you can move on, make some deals and live the good life. Don't hold this against her. Focus, stay positive and your success will come.

My Two Cents

I echo the above sentiments regarding ignoring the negativity and putting your energy into achieving success. Then EVERYONE will listen to you. I had the same thing - if not for this DG family I would have not continued. My boyfriend at the time - who was in home improvements - didnt think I could do it. He chose not to invest with me on my first flip...but he worked as a paid laborer in a sort of smug way like he knew he was getting paid whether I won or lost. Well, I made 21,000 profit in 6 1/2 weeks hahaha. After that I now have friends and family who ask to invest their money with me.....and one of my greatest realizations was when I knew I didnt need to prove this to anyone but MYSELF. So stay focused, come here for support and fly under the radar at home Smiling

My biggest NAYAYER!

I have been happily married to a great man for going on sixteen years . He is so old fashioned, and believes that he should be the sole provider. My husband, whom I love dearly is a Naysayer big time. He doesn't think any of this is possible. I have been a stay at home mom for thirteen years now. I am so ready to spread my wings and fly! I am so ready to make the leap into real estate investing. I want to help as many people as I can. I am a people person and always have been. My husband thinks he needs to protect me from the world. That's great of him but I am a strong willed woman and I can do this. I will do this and prove to my husband that not everything has a catch to it. He can't see past the money thing... I have spent money on guru's stuff in the past that got me no where. I will do my first few deals without my own money. As I know it can be done. I have spent many hours reading books about real estate and studying as much as I possibly can, I think sometimes a litte too much.( Overanalyzing!) Anyway I will have to prove myself to my husband before he believes in me. At this point he is not the one with the knowledge and he doesn't help me at this point with his negativity. I ignore him with his negativity, It's very hard when you love someone and are married to them to ignore that. I do love him and only want to better our families lives. I also am trying to help so he doesn't have to be the single money maker!

Hang in there Jay many people are scared of what they don't know and can't see. I believe in this and myself. You need to hold your head up high and keep going. Although it may be hard somedays ( As it is for many).We will need to pray that our significant others will find it one day to see us as doers and achievers ! We are only trying to be better people and accomplish the ultimate goals for us and them.
Stay focused, Lisa


i feel like i am writing to myself [lol].very interesting to read everyones comments as we all have naysayers around us one way or another.It is the way we handle the situation as to where we end up in the end.It is like solving a problem,if you ask yourself how can i solve it then the answers will pop into your mind.
yes we def want our family to support us 100 % ALL THE TIME and it def hurts when they dont but have you supported ALL your family at 100% all the time?? all the above two cents worth is worth reading over again its great.
i feel ya jay it is hard to keep doing something you like and someone is not into it 100% but its going to happen no matter what .as said above its all about how YOU feel and IF you have what it takes!! and i know you do !!!
keep at it 100% and she will see that you are IN IT TO WIN IT!!!.SHE WILL BE PROUD OF YOU when you do start implementing what you learn.learning takes time and so does real estate and that takes time away from her but if you stick it out i promise you she will LOVE the TIME you WILL have to spend with her when deals start happening .
hang in there bud and DO NOT GIVE UP!! WE R BEHIND YOU AND SHE WILL BE TOO !!


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almost forgot

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There's a lot of us in this boat!

Wow! You can tell by the number and length of the entries this is a common situation. My husband was skeptical telling me not to mention what I was doing to anyone. Kinda hard to network and not tell anyone at the same time! I just kept saying "if it can be done, I can do it, and I know people are doing it, so I will too!" Now that I have some success, he's telling people! Even told his boss I could her her find a new home cheap -LOL! So love her and keep on working and it will all come together.


Blessings & Favor,
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I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13

Psalm 1:1-3

To all naysayers Don't Hate the Player's Respect The Game!

Hello DG students I was kind down due to my naysayer mom I had tried to gain her interest in this excellent program.I'm going to stick to my gun's and drive on with my DG education. When I was growing up She alway's said go to college and get a good JOB (just over Broke) HA HA HA so I followed her directions and she was so wrong.
I'm now working on my first deal and I trust that dean's team will lead me to the promise land right direction I still have my goal to be a millionare this year 2010.

NAY Sayers

Hey Jay

What does that remind you of? or BAH..BAH..BAH

Sound familiar? Follow the crowd and get what they get. Become a black sheep and you'll become unstoppable.

Tell your girl, that the proof is in the pudding--results don't lie!


Breaking up with her would not be a good idea...its just that she has that state of mind b/c she seen you that you haven't complete things you've started so she is looking at the past like "ok he's not going to do this new thing either". Some times you just have to show people what your are about..people believe what they see and not what they hear,keep her around just to show her you can do it! Let proving her wrong be your extra motivation! Good luck.


***Ms. Highly Favored***


Just simply do the best that you can.


"If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.”
Napoleon Hill quote